*File Description: Star Trek Trivia Quiz*Filename:  p.145

Category:  Star Trek (tm) parodies

Title(s):  Star Trek Trivia Quiz

Author(s): Warren Siegel

Newsgroup: rec.arts.startrek

Poster:    Warren Siegel

Date posted: 1990 10 19 21:08:18 GMT

First date published: 1990 10 19 21:08:18 GMT

Collector: Chuan K. Chee

Date collected: 1990 10 23

Date reformatted: 1990 12 31


It's multiple choice, so feel free to make multiple choices.

SCORE: 5 points for each question answered (correctly or incorrectly),
10 bonus points for reading the instructions.

                0-4:  You're not trying!

                5-9:  Better luck next time!

                10-14:  Pretty good!  I guess you've watched the show once!

                15-19:  Excellent!

                20-infinity:  Expert!  Now you're ready for Wheel of Fortune!

WARNING: There may be spoilers, but you won't be able to tell if I'm just being facetious. (Rats!! How do you type "^L" on a Macintosh?)

  1. Tripoli is
    1. the ship that discovered Data
    2. a city with as many shores as Montezuma had halls
    3. Dolly Parton's bra cup size
  2. James T. Kirk is/was/will be
    1. in command of the Enterprise
    2. a real fun guy
    3. a real fungi
  3. When did Captain Picard surrender?
    1. The Captain never surrenders, you pig!
    2. That wimp surrenders every chance he gets!
    3. I thought Kirk was Captain!
  4. Identify the first ship named Enterprise.
    1. It was Capt. Kirk's ship, NCC-1701.
    2. No way, the aircraft carrier was eons before that!
    3. Wait, wasn't there some old wooden ship with that name?
    4. The only ship name I remember is "Galactica."
  5. Where is the alien origin of Mr. Spock?
    1. The planet Vulcan.
    2. The planet Epsilon Eridani 2.
    3. 'E's from America, mate!
  6. Leonard McCoy is
    1. a doctor, not an engineer!
    2. a doctor, not a brick layer!
    3. a doctor, not an escalator!
    4. sick and tired of your damn logic, Mr. Spock!
  7. Mr. Spock is
    1. the best first officer in the fleet
    2. a pointy-eared hobgoblin
    3. a Chinese who, as a child, caught his ears in an automatic rice-picker
  8. Natasha Yar is
    1. dead, twice
    2. a crybaby chief of security
    3. Pavel Chekov's love child
    4. Boris Badenov's partner
  9. Deanna Troi is
    1. in great pain
    2. a great pain
    3. the face that launched a thousand starships
    4. She has a face, too?
  10. Lieutenant Uhura is
    1. Kirk's receptionist
    2. Kirk's secret lover
    3. the token black woman on the show, replacing the black guy in the pilot
    4. smarter and better-looking than Troi, or at least not as much of a nag
  11. Wesley Crusher is
    1. a brilliant young man who saved the Enterprise zillions of times and deserves more respect (right, Mom?)
    2. a precocious child
    3. an obnoxious little twit
    4. Don't EVER mention that name to me again!
  12. A tribble is
    1. really cute and cuddly
    2. a pest
    3. delicious
    4. Wesley Crusher in his larval stage
  13. In "The Deadly Years," the Enterprise was in orbit around
    1. Gamma Hydra 3
    2. Gamma Hydra 4
    3. It doesn't matter, because Kirk's a better man now than you'll ever be!
  14. Vulcans have sex
    1. never
    2. once every 10 years
    3. only when they go back in time, are under control of alien orga(ni)sms, or on a spy mission
    4. telepathically, so you can't tell (watch the eyebrows)
  15. Klingons like
    1. red meat
    2. laxatives
    3. sex and violence, simultaneously
    4. growling and howling
    5. cute little boys
  16. Klingons hate
    1. diplomacy
    2. funerals
    3. dentists
    4. toupees
  17. Betazeds like
    1. nudity
    2. pain
    3. seducing Vulcans telepathically
  18. Androids like
    1. bad jokes
    2. petty bickering
    3. naked wiring
  19. Khan's full name is
    1. Genghis Khan
    2. Khan Noonian Singh
    3. Khan Noonian Soong
    4. Star Trek Khan '90
  20. A Romulan's personality can best be described as
    1. mean
    2. arrogant
    3. acting like he had Wesley for a son
  21. A Klingon's personality can best be described as
    1. honorable
    2. constipated
    3. acting like he had Wesley for a lover
  22. At maximum warp, how long would it take the Enterprise to reach the edge of the Galaxy?
    1. They haven't even gotten to the Borg under their own power, so it must take centuries.
    2. They got there in the pilot, so it couldn't take more than an episode.
    3. They haven't even figured out that the Galaxy is a lot thinner in the direction perpendicular to its plane, so forget it!
  23. When the transporter creates a copy of a person down on a planet, where does the original in the transporter chamber go?
    1. It's the same one, dummy! He gets transmitted 1 atom at a time to save postage!
    2. He gets disintegrated, then reintegrated from pure energy down on the planet. Transporter chiefs have the same privileges as executioners, so they can disintegrate people with impunity.
    3. The originals wind up on that same planet with all the lost pens and socks. They are then used as extras in other series, or become those doppelgangers from alternate universes.
  24. How can I get on an episode of Star Trek?
    1. Dress up as an alien at every Star Trek Con until you get discovered.
    2. Send Gene threatening letters.
    3. Put yourself in suspended animation, and then just wait until the 24th century!
  25. All answers to this quiz should be directed to
    1. /dev/null
    2. the Vulcan Science Academy
    3. Gene Roddenberry
    4. rec.arts.drwho