You Might Be a Redneck…

You know a member of StarFleet is a redneck when:

  • His shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month
  • He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles
  • He refers to Klingons as "Critters"
  • He refers to Photon Torpedoes as "Popguns"
  • He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coat hanger and aluminum foil
  • He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section
  • He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
  • He hangs fuzzy dice over the view screen
  • He rewires his communicator into his belt buckle
  • He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
  • He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
  • He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
  • He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
  • He sets the foreword view screen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
  • He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
  • He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
  • His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
  • His idea of a dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
  • He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge
  • He sets his phaser to "Cajun"