Hello again, Gamebits readers! Last week, Hiphopguy23 presented to you five Atari 2600 games that stood the test of time. Here now is the flipside of that list: five Atari 2600 games that now stink.
 
5) Combat — Play this game only for nostalgia purposes.  The tanks move so slowly and are frustratingly difficult to maneuver. When you do finally hit your opponent, it will feel like an act of luck more than an act of skill.  Not to mention that you can often times kill you opponent "multiple" times by repeatedly hitting fire after hitting them once.  No fun.
 
4) Raiders of the Lost Ark — Hiphopguy23 is just as excited as the next child of the Eighties to see Indiana Jones in his latest movie!  However, this game did not bring the thrill back.  Atari was notoriously bad at creating puzzle games (remember the awful Swordquest series?).  This game is no exception.  Even with the manual, you end up stumbling around confused at what Indy is supposed to do.  You could look online for the solution, but then what's the point in playing?  Also of note, the ending is highly unsatisfying.
 
3) Pole Position — First of all, Atari made a poor decision to use the joystick for this when it would have played better with the paddle.  Second, two players can not race side by side which spoils the thrill.  Also, the graphics are terrible; the racecar looks like a blob of pixels.  The track is repetitive, there is hardly any replay value.  This game is just a complete mess.  Hiphopguy23 much prefers Night Driver, even though that game is not much fun either.
 
2) Pac-Man — Ugh.  Atari really dropped the ball with this abomination.  The game play is sluggish and the controls are weak.  There is only one screen to navigate, resulting in boredom after a few plays.  The four ghosts have no distinct personalities.  Hiphopguy23 has even gotten stuck in a looping bug while playing.  Atari only got a touch better with Ms. Pac-Man.  If you really want the Pac-Man experience, Hiphopguy23 highly recommends Jr. Pac-Man  Jr. Pac-Man is everything Pac-Man was supposed to be: slick controls, rapid play, multiple screens, and ghosts with different personalities.  Highest recommendation for Jr. Pac-Man

1) Donkey Kong — Hiphopguy23 was thrilled to pick up this title after seeing King of Kong.  Sadly, the Atari port was a total disaster.  There are only two levels.  On the first, which is the iconic girders and ladders with barrels coming at you, the pace is slow and the joystick controls are oftentimes unresponsive, resulting in many frustrating moments.  When you defeat this screen, which is more relief than exhilaration, you are presented with the second screen, which is hard to describe.  There are more girders and you must run until the floor drops out, while being chased by what look like ducks.  This screen is easy to beat by following a boring pattern.  Then you are back to the original frustrating screen again.  If the arcade version were based bad, Steve Wiebe would have given up on day one.
 
Well, that's all!  Quite the trip down memory lane.  Here's till the next time that Ken allows Hiphopguy23 to come back!  Happy gaming!

In 1982, Billy Mitchell set the Donkey Kong world record high score of 874,300. He quickly found fame and fortune when LIFE magazine splashed his face alongside those of other elite gamers considered the greatest of their generation, in a photo-spread in their January, 1983, "Year in Pictures" issue. Many felt his amazing score would never be bested. Then, in 2003, an unassuming science teacher from Redmond, Washington, shattered the long-standing record. In a video-taped performance, Steve Wiebe posted a staggering 1,006,600 points. But there was a problem: the score only counts if it's certified by Twin Galaxies, the self-appointed official keeper of classic video game records. And TG founder and "World's Video Game Referee" Walter Day puts it succinctly: "Twin Galaxies does a lot to promote Billy, because it's to Twin Galaxies' advantage — and very much to the whole gaming hobby's advantage — for Billy to become a star."

Mitchell, a larger-than-life character with a world-class mullet, is a hot sauce mogul and successful restaurateur from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. He's also the self-proclaimed "World's Best Video Game Player". Unfortunately, in The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, the new movie from director Seth Gordon (now in limited release), Mitchell comes off as something of a very big fish in a very small pond: in fact, the only thing big enough to match Billy's legend is his ego. Mitchell's opening line in the movie not only sets the tone for the upcoming competition between Billy and his challenger, lovable loser Steve Wiebe, but also gives us a fascinating glimpse into the psyche of an egomaniac. King of Kong is littered with priceless Mitchell one liners: "He is the person that he is today because he came under the wrath of Bill Mitchell"; "Since I so-called debuted on the scene at LIFE magazine in 1982… there hasn't been anybody who's played even close"; and "Maybe they'd like it if I lose. I gotta try losing some time." With a gaggle of video gamer disciples at his beck and call, including one who considers Billy "the champion" and himself "the prodigy", it's clear that Billy Mitchell is very invested in maintaining the mystique of his image. "Everything about him is perfect; Billy is just that person," proclaims one. Even Walter Day seems entranced by Mitchell's charisma: "There's no reason why Bill Mitchell couldn't end up on a Wheaties box someday."

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